don't worry about it

I'm getting tired of life's ups and downs. It's irritating to have the feeling that everything is going great, that you're loved by everyone, on it at work and acing all of your classes at school, but a day later everything has completely switched up on you.

I want to go to Disneyland. A vacation would be sweet. Florida? Georgia? Colorado? Arizona? hmm..

I need to quit smoking. As much as I love it, it's killing me. I can't breathe in the morning, I cough a bunch and spit up a ton of nasty shit on a daily basis. Plus, I can't smoke during the time of my surgery.

I just read my last five entries and think I deserve to be punched in the face for being such a fool. This needs a little updating...
There's the good,
Back in high school. (I actually made honor roll first semester.)
Good job. (Teleperformance at $9/hr with Javan, Justin, and Kristi. Jobs with friends are sweet.)
Fines are paid. (I'll be driving within the next month or two.)
New phone. (Maybe I'll give you the number.)

And the not so good,

I just read my last five entries and think I deserve to be punched in the face for being such a fool. This needs a little updating...
There's the good,
Back in high school. (I actually made honor roll first semester.)
Good job. (Teleperformance at $9/hr 40 hrs a week with Javan, Justin, and Kristi. Jobs with friends are sweet.)
Fines are paid. (I'll be driving within the next month or two.)
New phone. (Maybe I'll give you the number.)
I'm on good terms with my dad. (We have real friendly conversations. Surprise!?)

And the not so good,
The relationship with my mom is deteriorating.(Slowly but surely, I can't handle it.)
I'm a little more sober. (I still smoke trees but the only drug I've used in the past couple months has been mushrooms, but come on folks, at least it's natural.)
Absolutely no love interest. (I'm getting irritated.)
My best friend is gone. (Ashley's living in AZ now. Nick's in MN. Haven't seen Charles since before Christmas, apparently the zippo wasn't good enough. ha.)

So yea, that's the past 6months in a nutshell. I loosing my mind though. Even though I'll be bringing home some fat checks from the new job, my social life's going to shit. I'll handle it though, I always do.

life is just some diamonds in the rough

this has been a crazy weekend.
thursday was rolling face.
friday was beers, blunts, and fake cocaine.
saturday was too drunken and emotional.
today was hangovers and shotguns.
nick comes back next week. i'm looking forward to that a lot.
at least i think i am.

yea.......
shit's nuts.
i haven't gone to school in over a month. i'm enrolling into ADA. it's all going to work out i think.
in a year,i'm going to drive truck for a little while. i've decided this.
i've also realized that people think i'm a drug abusing drop out with no direction in life and are deciding to give up on me.
so shit, if that's all it takes then fuck them in the first place.
i'm having FUN. which is more than they'll experience in their whole life.
no regrets.

lots of things are changing. i'm too drunk to update right now. btu what i do know is this;
we're moving into a sweet duplex. at least for us. and im excited.
but i miss some things right now. and i think i'm making mistakes because i'mlonely or soemthing. i don't understand what i'mdoing. but i do know this keyboard is fucked up and i've had way too many things that dont make me think 100% tonight so i need to stop writing.

so nick left for minneapolis again. he'll be gone for a month.
it works out though, because i can hang out with some people i don't usually do things with. not that i couldn't before, it's just i have more free time.

i'm going to keep on dancing.
things are too good to throw away.

i drank half a bottle of perscription cough syrup last night, hoping to dex. it worked, but now i feel loopy as ever. i haven't showered in a few days so i should probably get on that.

don't worry, be happy.

It's Shrove Tuesday!
National Pancake Day!

check it out. you'll laugh.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shrove_Tuesday


oh,and i hope everybody got free pancakes at ihop :)

i want to live a life like theirs.

<td align="center"> Samantha Rife --
[noun]:

A level headed person who always makes the wrong decision

'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com</td>

i'm assuming badass was taken... but that might be accurate enough.

don't you hate it when you go to light a cigarette that isn't really there?

my work got robbed at gun-point tonight. too bad i wasn't there. that would've been tight.
nobody got hurt though, and as for the "bad guys," they're in jail.

i had night school and slept pretty much all of valentine's day.
but you know, it could've been worse.

blake made me a couple data discs last night. i have lots of good music for my computer now. the weather's nice too and that's got me excited. BUT it's supposed to start snowing again here in a couple days though, which is a bummer.

i'm feeling good though. last night, while sitting in nick's room surrounded by pretty much all of my favorite people, i realized how great my friends are. i'm not sure where exactly i'm heading in life, but everybody who i've been surrounding myself with make me know that things are going to work out fine.
i'm definitely going to work on this whole comedian deal.
i've got a good feeling about it, and i think if i play my cards right, that might work out too.

mhmm.
ok.it's time for smoke and night school.

this weekend ended up being real tight.
went to columbus friday night after word with nick, andrew, and blake to visit tim. learned how to smoke out of a chillum. (which happeneds to be a new favorite of mine and i'm going to invest in one come next paycheck.) columbus is so beautiful though. even though it was cold, i loved it there. no snow, definitely a plus. and not too far from akron, another plus.

boo for valentine's day tomorrow. i have night school, so i'm not sure how it's going to be a good one.

work tonight, then hanging out with ian for the first time in ages! ha. at least i hope we end up going for coffee.
ok. i need a nap.

so today i got hit by a car, but it was tight.
no scratches. it was just funny.

tonight's gonna be a good one. blake, nick and i are kicking it. and adam might come down.
fun's gonna be accomplished.

i never mentioned my roomate, ha.
ashley's living with us now. it's pretty tight though. oh, and there was a mouse at work and i didn't want to kill it or put it outside in the snow, so it's in this huge dairy queen cup on the table in my room. i don't know what to do about him though. i'm going to name him gus gus. i'm not really thinking he'll be around long, it's still a fucking rodent. he's one of those jumping mice(like it's some sort of breed, ha). but he's CRAZY (and cute)!!!!!

spark up a joint and forget, don't regret.
mmhmmm.

flurries tonight,
snow day tomorrow?
probably not.

my dad had this friend who always ended things he'd say with, "...and shit."
(i.e. "let's get trashed and shit." "i fucked that bitch and shit" "the stones are coming and shit")
and for some reason i think that's sweet and am going to start using it more. maybe i'll sound ignorant, but i think it's funny.

tomorrow i have to get my senior picture taken for the yearbook. which means i have to wear something kind of nice. i suck at dressing nice. never have been good at it. even if i had all the money in the world, i don't think i could pull it off. it's okay though, i'm not trying to get best dressed. class clown would be tight though.

i'm smoking camel 99s, not pall mall's tonight. i almost feel classy. haha.

on a lighter note, i really do wish i lived in an octopus' garden.